There are a host of videos online with titles like ‘5 Self Defence Moves Every Woman Should Know’, ‘How To Escape From A Bear Hug’, ‘3 Easy Ways To Take Down a Larger Attacker’, ‘Simple Trick To Gun Disarms’. I call these ‘TikTok Techniques’.
Most of them have a few things in common. One is that the person defending themselves is usually wearing sports clothes, or at the very least comfortable, practical clothing. We can accept that sometimes yes, you will get attacked while wearing leggings and a t-shirt. But what about when you’re wearing a short skirt and high heels? Or a well fitting three piece suit? Evidently, this will affect the way you move and fight.
Secondly, the environment is usually fairly featureless. More often than not, the video is shot in a gym or dojo, or at the very least an open space like a park or garden. Again, yes that could happen. You could be set upon in a field. But more likely your environment will play a part in shaping the interaction. It’s very difficult to create space on a narrow pavement with a wall on one side and a dual carriageway on the other. Or to stay on your feet if there’s trip hazards on the floor. Or simply to break and run if there’s a circle of other pupils around you egging on the fight.
Thirdly, both participants in the demonstration generally know what is to be demonstrated. With the best will in the world, this will affect the outcome. The defender knows the move they’re meant to perform, so there’s no hesitation or moment of panic to overcome. The attacker will react, in my experience, in one of two ways. Either they will loosen their grip/slow their strike at the crucial moment in order for the demonstration to go off smoothly, or do the exact opposite and render the defence useless. The element of surprise has been removed in both cases, and a sudden decisive and unexpected movement (probably the greatest asset a smaller defender has) is now impossible.
Size vs technique
I recently did an experiment on this subject. I took a teenage girl aside and showed her a video on how to escape when grabbed from behind. I allowed her to practice it with me as the assailant until she was confident she understood the mechanics of it. Then I introduced a grown man, twice her size, but with no knowledge of what the plan was. I simply said “grab her from behind, with both arms.” Despite knowing what to do, and being prepared to do it, the size and overwhelming strength of the attacker was too much, and she was unable to escape. Which brings me to the next problem with self defence training - you can’t really hurt each other.
Pain
Pain is a huge involuntary motivator. If you touch a hot stove, you snatch your hand away. If someone pokes you in the eye, you put your hands up to protect yourself, and not being able use this is a big drawback in training. You rely on the other participant thinking to themselves “this would hurt, and I would do x as a response”, and even then you may not agree on the response. I remember playing Cowboys and Indians with a friend as a child and shouting that he couldn’t do what he was doing, I’d shot him. “Ah,” he replied, “but I’m only wounded.” That’s the exact problem we’re up against.
Self defence (in this instance taken to mean physically defending oneself from an attacker) is made so difficult to train due to how hard it is to accurately replicate a scenario with all the associated side issues. The stress, pressure and pain won’t be there to the same degree - on either side.
What can you do?
Well, you can’t genuinely poke someone in the eyes or try and shatter their kneecaps in training. You can’t use the real intent that you’d need, and you’ll hopefully never feel as threatened in the gym as you would on the street.
But there are things you can do. Training in different environments, different outfits, with different opponents. Pressure testing yourself, having someone repeatedly attack you to a harder level than they would normally, maybe having someone shouting at you throughout to increase stress. Nothing will ever come close to the genuine horrific experience of being attacked on the street by a stranger, but varied training can give you something to fall back on, and this is my main problem with TikTok Techniques.
Drill, drill, drill?
In order to fall back on something under stress, you need to have drilled it over and over, to make it an automatic thing. This is why fighters shadow box and put combinations on pads relentlessly, so that under stress the body can produce a series of strikes on autopilot. A professional fighter can afford to devote that sort of time to a combination and still have time for more, but most of us don’t have that luxury. Spending hours mastering the correct sequence of movements to free oneself from an attacker who has wrapped both arms around you from behind is all well and good, until someone grabs you with one hand from in front.
Mindset over moves
I prefer to train a general mindset to a specific set of moves. As I mentioned, the element of surprise is your greatest weapon, and you need to accept that if something hasn’t worked, it’s decreasingly less likely to as the confrontation progresses. To take an example, in my classes I cover ways to break out of a wrist grab. I’ve seen countless participants fumbling for the prescribed way to break the grip, or not having the strength to break it - yet they keep trying. The surprise is gone, your attacker will shift or tighten their grip, and it will become harder than ever. My advice boils down to this simple statement:
If you’ve tried something and it hasn’t immediately worked, try something else.
You can’t break the grip, go for the eyes. They grab your other hand, knee to the groin. They shift their stance to protect themselves, stamp to the knee. Maybe now you can break free. If not, repeat the cycle. Keep surprising them. Above all, always be doing something. Training to have this mindset is to my mind more effective than training for a specific set of circumstances that may never occur.
Conclusion
Despite all that, I’m not having a go at self defence videos, or self defence classes in general. Generally applicable movements are useful, I teach them myself. And there’s a case to be made that people who’ve been victims of an attack in whatever form need something concrete in order to feel like they’re regaining control, taking a positive step and thereby bringing back their peace of mind. Is this the illusion of safety? Perhaps. But I would argue that it’s only a dangerous illusion if those same people, buoyed by false confidence, then deliberately put themselves in a risky situation. As that seems unlikely, can it be harmful to have extra knowledge (whether you are able to use it or not) should you find yourself in a dangerous situation again?